Closeness. Intimacy. Vulnerability. Long-suffering. Endurance.
My boys are best of friends. They hug, they wrestle, they chat, they love. They get to know each other better every day. They pray for each other. Of course, they fuss with each other. They are brothers, and they are learning so much because of that bond.
I wonder how the addition of another brother will effect the dynamic of their bond. Will it heighten their closeness–therefore excluding little Twig3? Will Twig2 find himself drifting more towards leading Twig3–therefore leaving Twig1 sort of alone? Will Twig1 dote on Twig3–therefore making Twig2 feel excluded? Will the addition create a synergistic effect bonding each of them closer together?
My brothers and I are spaced far apart (4 years between 1&2 and then 6 years between 2&3…I am the oldest). I remember–vividly–my father trying to push the idea and methods of bonding with my youngest brother. However, with a 10 year age difference and the obvious gender difference, it was difficult for me to form a bond that looked similar to my father's hopes.
However, now that we are older (my brother is 16 and growing into more of a man every day), I find that our bond deepens and changes with each interaction. It is not something that can be pushed by parents; it can only be facilitated. It is something that the kids must want, be open to, and be able to create.
I need to keep this in mind in the days to come. As a parent, you want each child to feel like a special part of the whole. You want them to know their individual and important place in the family.
I have a building case of nerves surrounding the addition of Twig3. I am so excited to meet him–and will no doubt love him the moment he arrives. However, the change that this will bring to our newly found rhythm (after that cross-country move less than a year ago) is looming. Change is healthy and good–and not to mention inevitable.
Change is coming.
We will grow in our intimacy. Our closeness. Our vulnerability. Our long-suffering. Our endurance.