The thing about boredom (or even just quiet and stillness) in my life is that I can easily mistake it for anxiety. Yes, I am saying, sometimes I think I’m anxious when really I’m just still and without something to keep my mind busy. That feels like an important thing to know about myself. I think it’s why I’m at my most anxious at about 10pm when my body has finally been stilled for the evening.
The thing about our brains is that the neurons build connections. That is WONDERFUL. It means that our muscles know what to do, that we don’t have to think in order to breath, and that we can integrate the knowledge we have into wisdom and decisions.
But, there is another thing about our brains propensity to build connections. Those synapses also can build trails that our minds go down very easily over time. Think about it this way, when you forge a path for the first time you have to push through dense growth and trample down nature and cut a way for yourself. But, the next time you go down your new path, it’s a little easier. Eventually, that becomes a well worn path–and from the trailhead you know exactly where you’ll end up. You can anticipate the end of the road without even stepping on to the path.
For me, anxiety is like this. It becomes a well worn path in my brain (and there is science to back this up!). The more I’m anxious about something the more easily my brain gets fussed up about it the next time. Sooner than I’d like to admit, I’m anticipating my anxiety before I even get there.
This summer, I’m trying to retrain my brain to react differently to certain things. I’m asking the Lord to fill in those well worn paths with new growth, believing Him rather than seeing to the end of the trail.
When I feel bored, I’m going to ask the Lord that I’d accept being still as a good thing. When I look at my inbox, I’m asking the Lord to show me opportunity (my friend Erin Loechner suggested this to me!) rather than burden. There are a billion other little paths in my brain, but there is time to get to all those. I’m starting small and hoping that these little bits will help change the way I view my days.
Do you have well worn paths in your brain? How can you ask the Lord to fill them in with new growth?