Each year of our marriage, around this time, Husband and I have taken an afternoon or evening to have a sit down. This sit down meeting (and we make it kind of formal) is what we call The State of Our Union. We talk about how our marriage is, how our family is, and what we see for the coming year.
For the past 2 years, we have done The State of Our Union in early December when we go away for Husband’s birthday. Sadly, several things conspired to keep us home this year–so we are just preparing for The State of Our Union in the coming days.
It is the highlight of our holiday season, dreaming and preparing. Husband and I are big on enthusiasm, intention, and direction. And, in case it’s been a secret thus far, I LOVE a good meeting. Family meetings were always my favorite as a child. I guess I’ve always been a sucker for a shared vision. We like to look forward together.
During our State of Our Union, we speak in specifics about our finances in order to plan for the year ahead. We speak to each member of our immediate family and how we notice they are doing spiritually, what we could do to encourage or teach them better. We plan for the big planned moments (birthdays, weddings, new babies, etc.) and build in margin for small and unexpected moments. This is our time, just Husband and I, to dream for the coming year. The time we set aside for this meeting is as precious as good. It dictates the tone and the vision for the days to follow.
We generally like to go out to a nice dinner and then take dessert back to our hotel room (or home!) and do our meeting over dessert and coffee. We have tried to meet at restaurants, and it’s just too loud and distracting. However, if that works for you–GO for it. You may have to try different things for a few years to see what suits you both!
I would encourage you in the waning days of 2011, set aside time to mentally map out 2012. While we cannot control our fate, we do have a responsibility to live our days with good stewardship. I want to make sure each year is accounted for–and these days that are a blur of new babies, and new houses, and new cities aren’t lost to the busy and letting-things-happen.
If you would like to use a guide to direct your conversation, feel free to click below for a free download of the questions Husband and I talk through. If one of the questions doesn’t apply to you–or you don’t find it important–CROSS IT OUT! :) This is just a guide. You make The State of YOUR Union fit your union.
Do you do something similar in your family? Any tips to share? Things that have worked really well for you? Please, please share in the comments below! I’ll be back to check out your suggestions. :)
