I posted this picture last night on Instagram. And, then, I thought about when Noah was tiny and how I thought this sort of day would never come. He was a climber and never let me sit down. He talked early and outsmarted a lot of my early attempts at discipline. I thought back to those isolating days when everything felt like a joyous chore, but I also felt guilty for wishing some of the longer moments away.
Then, I remembered you mamas I know who have a couple of tiny kids–and how life feels so physically exhausting and with so little reward. I remember the days when it felt like more work than it was worth to have a playdate–because I’d be more up and chasing the baby than chatting with my friends. Even trips to the park were grueling, all that mulch to dig out of those toddler mouths and so many high places.
And I am so thankful for the grace of the moms who were just a little bit ahead of me in the parenting game. Their kids were just a tiny bit older than mine, but those women looked at me in the eyes and said, “It gets so much better. It gets so much easier!”. Those moms were just out of the fog that comes from the sleepless nights of a baby matched with the endless days with a toddler. The kids had started preschool…or REAL school. And they told me. They told me to hang on. It wouldn’t seem so lonely soon. I’d feel more confident soon. I’d remember what me felt like soon.
They were close enough to remember, really remember, what having a couple of small children was like. Their memory hadn’t faded to a soft glow like sometimes happens over time with older moms.
They just told me how much they were enjoying their kids, their preschool and school-aged kids. How it felt like they had a moment to think and a second to sit down. They told me how they were finding time to slow down and really see their husbands. They weren’t just stealing glances, shaking their heads and wondering how the kids were still alive.
And, I feel like I need to say to you, mama of a couple tiny kids, “It gets so much easier. You’re about to turn a corner.” Even now–even though I have a couple additional tiny kids–it still feels better. My older guys can steer the little guys out of trouble, or grab a pacifier from downstairs, or hold the baby’s attention. And also, having older kids exercises a part of my brain that I longed to use when I only had a toddler and a baby. I get to have conversations and teach them in ways that go beyond, “HOT!” and “NO!”.
So, mama of a couple little kids, hear me say this.
It gets easier.
It gets more fun.
You’re getting so close to turning the corner.
What you are doing is physically exhausting and most of the time thankless.
You won’t be constantly buzzing around in the same ways soon enough.
You’ll be able to think a little straighter in a matter of months.
The fog lifts. You’ll feel more confident. You’ll feel more alive.
It won’t last forever.
And, it’s true. It won’t last forever. I think that’s what older moms are getting at when they talk about how golden these years are. These years, they are so grueling and yet fleeting. They feel like they’ll stretch on like an Indian summer, but, really pass by faster than we’d prefer.
But, I see you. Mom of a couple little kids, I see how hard you’re working. I see that it’s not easy, and I remember being where you are. But, hear me say. It feels easier to mother now than it did when Noah was 3 and Cooper was 1…even though I now also have two newer little guys who are nearly those ages. It feels easier now, and it is so much more rewarding.
Just hang on, the fog will lift.
It’s a precious and wild ride. It goes so gloriously fast and achingly slow–and the opposite is true, too.
