Jam. Sweet, juicy, long-lasting. Friendship, when it's good, is also mostly sweet, sometimes juicy, and preferably long-lasting.
Why do we hole ourselves up in our lonely little journeys these days?? Why don't we do life with other people, letting them into the juicy parts of our lives? Why do we choose to go it alone, afraid to expose the less sweet parts of ourselves? Why, in 2010, can we connect virtually with millions, but struggle to develop meaningful friendships with our own neighbors?
I feel like people had to lean on each other more readily in days when life was harder. I know we have our trials today, but in the "olden days" life really was hard. The day's work was grueling and physically demanding. There was constant threat of disease or destruction of a year's work by drought or storm. You would have needed a strong support system; a group of people who would give you their first and their best when you were in need. You would need a shoulder to weep on, and someone to rejoice with.
Why are we so eager to trade that support in? Why are we so ready to zone out in front of our 52" flat screens and our computer screens…content to be left alone even if it means being lonely?
Well, this week, I decided that come hell or high water I was going to have women into my house, no matter how crazy a week it was for me. We are in the middle of a major life transition, and my house is showing the wear of my haggard state of mind. But, I invited 3 women in anyway, knowing that they would excuse my mess. Knowing that excusing my mess would encourage them to excuse their own mess and invite others in.
Invite others in. How much more beautiful does it get? Invite others in to share a cup of tea and a bunch of laughs. Invite others in and ask for help with a project you're stalled on. Invite others in and ask to be invited into their lives and their struggles. Invite others in and let them see your messy parts, your ugly parts, and your beautiful parts. Trust that they will love you anyway. Trust that by being vulnerable, you are encouraging someone else in their messy and ugly parts.
I am thankful for the women in my life who look past the messy, the ugly, the disorganized, the scattered, the overeager, and the distracted in my life…and they choose to see the beauty. They call out the beauty in my life, and they remind me of the beauty when I can't see it myself.