They say the best possible camera is the one you have in your hand. That camera is the one that captures the memory and the scene in front of you, after all.
And the camera in my hand (like most of us) has become my iPhone. And that is great in a lot of ways, I capture a lot of impromptu, intimate moments with my iPhone. But, lately I’ve found myself missing the heavy click of the real life mechanical shutter. I’ve found myself missing the beautiful depth of field that comes as a reward for dragging my heavy camera out.
My first hobby after becoming a mother was photography. With just my point-and-shoot, I found myself unable to capture the moments with Noah like I saw them with my eyes–and that, to me, felt like a tragedy. If I’m honest, the greatest sorrow of being a mother is not being able to store up every moment, every nuanced experience in my memory. I desperately want to remember it all, to tuck it away safely, but the limitations of the human experience deny me.
Photography quickly became a passion. I spent every naptime researching, and studying, and practicing. Noah was not only my first child, who I practiced mothering on. He was also my first subject, who I made portraits of day after day after day. Before he could crawl away, I would plop him the window turning his soft baby body until the light was perfect.
These days, nothing about my life is slow. So, maybe the iPhone makes sense. It’s easy, it’s grab and go. But, while it is easy, it is also imperfect. Much of the moment is lost to blur because the shutter is slow, which if I’m honest is much like my own fast life. When my days are moving along at the speed of iPhones and modern life, I lose a lot of the little nuances that make life rich.
So, maybe the ideal is a blend of the two worlds. Maybe it’s the iPhone when necessary, just like hurried days sometimes can’t be avoided. But, maybe it’s worth deliberately being slow, doing the less convenient thing, because it will result in a richer picture. I never regret capturing a moment with my heavy camera, it’s always full of detail and crisp. I want to live the heavy camera kind of moments, at least every once in awhile.