This is the first post in my series on my trip to Ethiopia. We’re just about 2.5 weeks out from the trip–and honestly, I’m just getting around to being a little nervous about it. I told myself that I needed to get through the site upgrades of The Influence Network, and THEN I could start wondering and dreaming about how this trip to Africa would change me. One thing at a time, I tell myself, one thing at a time Tiny Twig.
For my birthday (or Mother’s Day or practically any other day that I get to choose how we celebrate), I always want to go to the mall, be inspired by the newest store windows, choose a few fun things, and eat out. Mike rarely buys me gifts any more, because he knows I love this little ritual. He 100% does NOT understand this, but I think he’s mostly grateful that I’ll pick out my own presents. ;)
My 28th birthday was last weekend, and so we set out on our mall date looking for a few things for my trip to Ethiopia. Namely, a raincoat. Did you know that it’s likely to rain during our entire trip? Yes. We were strongly advised to pack rainboots and a raincoat. Not quite the desert Africa I was imagining.
Can I share for a moment? My birthday trip to the mall was the first time I really let myself think about actually physically going on this trip. I’m not a huge planner, and I hadn’t, in my mind, gotten as far as actually realizing that I was really going…or you know…going with these people
Ladies and gentlemen, these people are just a few of my gorgeous soon-to-be friends. The others are authors and rockstars (actual rockstars!) and well, cooler people than I. All of the sudden, when it hit me, I got very self conscious and weird. My mind went to not so lovely places and started making very detailed “looking fantastically chic while traveling surpassingly far” Pinterest boards in my head. I started thinking of all the things I would need for this trip…mentally measuring myself against my trip-mates’ level of awesome.
Before long, I felt small in comparison and so I plotted retail acquisitions that would help me measure up. And y’all? That’s gross. I’m going to Ethiopia, after all, to learn about and share the plight of women who cannot provide for themselves and therefore sell themselves.
Naturally, too, my mind went to entertainment. I wanted to make sure I had reading material, and probably some rad technology to make the THIRTY ONE HOURS on a plane more bearable. I wanted all the things and started making a list of a million books I should read while I’m there. But, when I caught myself Googling Kindles, I figured maybe I could borrow my mom’s instead. First, my bag doesn’t need to be weighed down with paper and second my wallet doesn’t need to be lighter because of it.
I talked last night with some women who have been to Ethiopia before. In fact, their children are adopted from Ethiopia, so their love runs deeps. They spoke to me of feeling gloriously ruined for life as they knew it after traveling–and so, instead of preparing my packing list I’m busy preparing my heart. I figure the worst thing I could possibly do is be unprepared for the enormity of what God could show me on this trip. The last thing I want to do is be weighed down because I’ve held onto the desire for comfort or the desire to measure up.
So, for the next couple weeks, I’ll be spinning that globe and showing my boys where my jumbo jet will land. I’ll be making peace with the truth that I’d hate to fly across the world and have my heart unchanged. I’ll be praying that God would make my easily distracted heart instead, soft and ripe and open and deeply feeling and fully aware.