I never really thought about being a mom as I was growing up. I didn’t have a mother who operated out of the identity of primarily “mother”, so the thought that being a mom is just what all women eventually and primarily did never ever occurred to me. In fact, my mother and both of my grandmothers worked full time outside of the home.
I know by high school I actively didn’t want to be a mother. I imagined myself as a hard-working city girl, wearing my black clothes, driving my black car, and drinking my black coffee. And sometimes, I do think I’d have found great fun and success in that for a season.
I didn’t love babies or babysitting as a teenager. I don’t like chaos, I don’t like continuous noise, I don’t like people talking over each other, and over-scheduling stresses me out. I would say I don’t have an overly high tolerance for crazy. So, four kids (four boys!) doesn’t look like a good fit on paper.
But, four kids (four boys!) is totally my jam! It’s one part heart change and one part smart small-people management.
I had this guy friend in my 11th grade English class, we’d practically grown up together. I told him every day how I didn’t want to get married or have kids. He had grown up in the church and went to the local youth group, but was also super cute and I think a lot of girls had a crush on his “good guy” demeanor. It’s weird, but he was a big part of me coming to know the Lord. He probably doesn’t know that, but I always sensed that he saw something in me that I hadn’t seen in myself yet. He listened to me yammer on and on for a year about how I didn’t know about this Jesus thing and how it probably was all a big farse and how I didn’t want to have a family and how I was going to be this big city success after high school. He sometimes pushed back, but mostly just let me go and sound silly.
Then, I met the guy who would become my husband and also met the Lord. That same week, I told my guy friend that I might be able to picture myself having a family one day. I assure you, I wasn’t meaning a family with this skinny teenage guy I’d just met…but, the Lord simultaneously softened my heart to the idea of marriage and family. I was a literal new creation, even I laughed at my change of heart.
That was the heart change that the Lord set in motion and continues every day.
The smart small-people management? Well, that’s been learned in the 6 years I’ve been a momma. The methods to the madness change as the seasons change, but the heart my parenting is also the heart behind (and the tagline of) this blog. More passion and less fuss. More passion and less fuss. That is the only way to survive my four wild and lovely boys.
If you feel overwhelmed as a mom, or if you wonder if you’ll ever want to have kids, or if you have tips to share…I’d love to have you join my Influence Network class this Thursday. I hope that you’ll leave encouraged and equipped to help the daily details of motherhood feel more like a joy than a burden.
Are you a mom? Did you always dream of being a mother? Do you think motherhood suits your personality/preferences?