1. Embrace Pride.
Think you are absolutely essential. Think you need to be everything to everyone. Think you have the ability to actually do that. You are important.
2. Say yes to everything.
Never say no. Because you have a role to fill. You have every role to fill. You have to be the head of that committee, and bring the casserole to that get together, and join the running group, and don’t forget book club. Don’t worry if you actually enjoy the activity. Do it anyway. If you don’t show up, if you don’t do it…who will?
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3. Forgo Rest.
Because you are so essential and nothing will get done without you, be constantly busy. Go to bed too late, never ever nap. You don’t have time for that. Reject downtime of any sort as wasteful. Never enjoy recreation or dawdling.
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All hyperbole aside, I see something worrisome in our culture (maybe it’s always been there). We like our stuff done fast, right, and cheap.
But it’s Business 101 that you can only come by 2 of those 3 factors at a time. You can get stuff done fast and cheap, but you’ll sacrifice quality. You can get stuff done right and for little expense, but boy you’re going to wait. And you can get stuff done really well and really fast, but plan on opening your pocketbook as wide as it goes.
Your life can’t continue at the fast, right, and cheap pace to no end. Plus, you are not a business. You are not a commodity. You are building a life. Maybe you are raising children. Maybe you are perfecting a craft. Maybe you sell books in a small town where no one moves away.
Whatever you do, it isn’t who you are. Who you are can’t be rushed. There has never, ever been a faster way through the day than to move forward every minute of 24 hours.
It’s wise to rest. It’s wise to be slow. It’s wise, sometimes, to say no.
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If you feel the siren of people pleasing, I’d challenge you to check your heart (I’m checking mine). Are you afraid to let that person down because you’d also be taking your pride down a notch? Remember, the Lord uses the humble.
My pride can be the most painful thing to diminish. When I think less of myself and more of the Lord’s might and ability to move and act without me–it hurts like crazy at first. It burns like hot, flushed pink cheeks. But, then (and quickly), it’s like a deep breath. I can sigh in relief that I don’t keep the world spinning. My “No” may just allow someone else to say their first “Yes”.
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In my fear and my pride, I never want to create a shadow. I don’t want to loom so large that the light doesn’t get past. If that happens, I will get in the way of other women growing. I will block their light, out of fear of displeasing and a pride that I’m probably the only one for the job. Gross, gross, gross.
The tallest fruit tress often bear little fruit because their energy is all in their stature. Conversely, the smallest, itty bitty strawberries are most times the sweetest. When you get a big red strawberry the size of your hand, it’s kind of beautiful in an alien, novel way but sour as all get out.
Don’t aim for big, don’t end up sour. We need you, please don’t burn out.