I feel like I should tell you something. I say “No”…a lot.
I don’t do it all. I can’t. I simply can’t. And…neither can you.
I assume you can’t. I assume that’s what your emails mean when you ask how I do it all.
I just want to make sure I’m not putting off a false impression. You know, bloggers can do that. They are like phenomenal wedding photographers, making life appear almost more beautiful than it really is. Carefully crafting the angles so things appear to be clean and crisp and well edited and impeccably styled.
my very real and unstyled kitchen.
Here is the list of what I don’t do:
I don’t buy organic. I know, right? How can I not? I don’t know. It seems overwhelming and I don’t know where to begin. It seems like an all or nothing deal, and I’m not ready to do it all. I grocery shop in 1 hour from door to door with my 3 kids. It needs to be fast, simple, and mostly no-brainer for me to get it done. Maybe someday I’ll tackle the whole “best” way to do things.
My kids wear simple and inexpensive clothes. They have jeans (shorts in the summer) and long-sleeve t-shirts (short sleeve in the summer). Any top can be worn with any bottom. They are not the stylish kids clothes I assumed my kids would wear…you know, before I had kids.
My house is NOT spotless. I prioritize some things higher than a spotless house. It is picked up (mostly), but not extraordinarily clean. The baseboards remain undusted more often than not. The windows need washing. The floors could stand to be swept (Nester tells me crumbs on the floor make her feel at home–such grace, that woman!). If I ever make superfluous money, it will go to a professional housecleaner.
My hair is in a bun or ponytail 9 times out of 10. I am not good at doing hair. I don’t spend a lot of time doing my hair. I don’t care, generally, about my hair. I want it out of my face and I want it to take less than 2 minutes to do. Looking overly cute in under 2 minutes is probably expecting too much.
I don’t get down on the floor and play much with my kids. I’ve always struggled with this as a mom (and that means most likely some of you have, too). How do stay-at-home moms actually play with their kids all day? Don’t Legos and monster trucks and cars get old? Instead, we do a craft or run an errand or read. Mostly, though, I encourage them to play together (and they ARE the best of friends) or I encourage them to find their own fun.
I wouldn’t make Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman or other personal finance gurus particularly proud. We are not debt free. We own 2 homes, due to relocation, and rent one of those homes to another family. We don’t have a billion month emergency fund. We are trying to make good decisions with 3 young boys, 1 new-ish big kid job, and a fledgling part-time whatever Tiny Twig is (a tiny empire??).
not an abnormal scene for our motley crew
There is so much grace in motherhood and womanhood. There are so many ways to be–and an equal number of ways not to be. Just because something is important to me–getting out an doing life with my boys, regardless of the hassle–it may not be important to you. Just because something is important to you–eating organic and amazingly pure food–it may not be important to me. You may be an impeccable housekeeper by nature, but you may not like to plan dinner. All is grace. All is grace. Hear me say, you ARE enough. You don’t have to do it all.
Now, surely you don’t have it all together either? Want to let us know what you don’t do? Please, please…let us know in the comments. Let’s have a lively conversation, a breath of fresh-air, and a LOT of grace in the comments. Women don’t/can’t/won’t ever be able to do it all.
